How did I discover my passion?
I would say I have many passions in my life but for me a passion is often born out of something you have lived, mastered and transcended.
I passionately believe in the power of transformation, love and forgiveness. I love the way my soul intervenes when it know best.
I believe passionately in the healing power of connection because the plan of my life was of absolute disconnection to that of a whole person truly embodying all that I am.
I remember it started when I was four. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I could heal people, massage their feet and work with the plant people and energies to take people back to how it used to be. I only reconnected with this recently as when we numb emotions we numb the good and the bad. We can’t choose. I remember communicating with trees and journeying in sleep deep into underworld lands where I was nourished.
I did not fit in. I needed to be silenced.
I quickly discovered a world where the emotions and pain I could see on the inside of people was not communicated on their faces so after being labelled so many things for my intuitive insight but let’s call wise little Emily “neurotic” for now.
It is amazing how gifts of intuition and clairsentience were seen as a curse at the time.
The word sunk into her tiny body and shut down her voice to a stammer and her energy to a tiny spark that needed sleep and rest.
Disconnection is powerful; there is a world inside that doesn’t match the outside
So I learnt the Earth rules quickly: deny, suppress, mask and hide
There was a deep belief that I was not worthy of connection. It is not surprising that I was the victim of domestic abuse. Of course I didn’t tell a soul.
That is why I believe it is so healthy to share as I know now that it is so common and it is important to know who to speak to.
Because I no longer trusted my judgement, the physical violence brought everything into the open and clarity which allowed me to heal. I couldn’t blame myself for being ‘neurotic’
What comes to the light can be healed, which is why I am such a believer in talking and connecting. Domestic violence is not just my past it is part of our collective consciousness we all need to heal.
I believe the body has a way of mirroring our thoughts and emotions so when a freak accident left me unable to walk, with my left ankle nearly completely lost, all tendons severed and no feeling at all I completely freaked out.
I believe the soul whispers and when you listen it whispers louder, and becomes your intuition.
I had the task of healing deep emotional wounds, codependency, physically broken and completely broke. That’s another reflection, lentils and bread I made last for months, while disentangling myself from codependent relationships, restoring my energy and the miracle blessings that is my left foot as it taught me so much.
I believe if you are broken, your purpose is to mend. My intuition developed so intensely that I became fixated on following it and when I stopped listening it pulled me back.
My passion is healing and it has changed my life, my ancestors life and my children’s life. Leaning into communication with myself, with each cell of my being.
Then I discovered flamenco, still unable to feel my left foot but what ignites your soul ignites your body. I was able to express the emotions through my body that had been carefully concealed behind the ‘neurotic’ label so I dropped that too. I attended peñas and became quickly aware that this was in the old hierarchical style of ‘expert’ and ego and I wanted dance to be seen as the healing modality it had been for me. A celebration of life, unity and storytelling.
Bodies, emotions and souls are amazing when they work together and sing the same tune of joy. You don’t heal back to the person you were but you become a different version of you. I would never have the life I have now, able to embody all of me. I would not be me if it all hadn’t happened and now I know so many different dimensions of our existence which I wouldn’t if the perfect events for my path hadn’t happened.
It was perfect.
I have such a concrete knowledge of how emotions, our bodies and our soul are connected. I am no longer denying all that I see. I don’t have a routine for my massage but let myself be guided to pain and use a combination of massage, aromatherapy and energy healing to chanel it out.
People who come to see me are often echos of ‘younger’ versions of my journey or kundalini awakening. That is when I am absolutely solid in my insistence on listening to the whisper. I connect people back to their body, back to their emotions, back to their soul. Back home ❤️